Joke Du Jour

[guit_ar_tist]

ahhh french jokes... all french no joke.. lol

agree

lol

A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"  

"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.  

"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.  

"What do you want," she replied, "good grammar or good  
taste?"  

 

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the notes?", to his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

 

[Ban Em All]

that is great fury, well done

[[OnA]Sloppy]

i think i get it, when they push a buildiing, they covered their jackets, right?

btw, i heard of double posts, but triple posts, only guitartist can push the limits 

I don't see how pushing a building would cover their jackets.

And I only triple posted because then I would of had a super long post lol

i think what worp is trying to say is, the jackets are used as a point of reference from where they started, so after a few hours, they look down and there jackets aren't there, so to them, they have moved the building.

[guit_ar_tist]

Ah. If that's the case, I understand. Funny how we went through all this trouble to decipher what worp was trying to say lol

[fury]

i think i get it, when they push a buildiing, they covered their jackets, right?

btw, i heard of double posts, but triple posts, only guitartist can push the limits 

I don't see how pushing a building would cover their jackets.

And I only triple posted because then I would of had a super long post lol

i think what worp is trying to say is, the jackets are used as a point of reference from where they started, so after a few hours, they look down and there jackets aren't there, so to them, they have moved the building.

only worp's twisted sense of humor could come up with something  like that.GENIUS.
keep it up worp!

[Ban Em All]

wow, its sad of how simple something could be, but yet, we still dont get it

[guit_ar_tist]

wow, its sad of how simple something could be, but yet, we still dont get it

haha... yeah

[DinG]

haha worp.. hahah... now i get ur joke :S

[whores]

why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side

why did the horse cross the road
cos its dick was in the chickens ass

I made that up 

[guit_ar_tist]

ok 3 guy Ramsy,Fury,Ban En All, died and go to haeven then the meet jesus,1of them ask what the clock for ? jesus said: thas is the nuber of time you mastuber your seld in 1 day.The first clock is Ramsy ..1,2,3,4,  Four time in one day,The secound is Fury...1,2,3,4,5,6,7 seven time in one day.Then Ban En All ask where is mine? jesus said: is in mine room i use it as a ventilator

 

I almost didn't get that one lol... It spins so fast it's like a fan 

why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side

why did the horse cross the road
cos its dick was in the chickens ass

I made that up 

Haha... nice 

[Ban Em All]

3 million years later me joke was understand 

now new joke


ok 3 guy Ramsy,Fury,Ban En All, died and go to haeven then the meet jesus,1of them ask what the clock for ? jesus said: thas is the nuber of time you mastuber your seld in 1 day.The first clock is Ramsy ..1,2,3,4,  Four time in one day,The secound is Fury...1,2,3,4,5,6,7 seven time in one day.Then Ban En All ask where is mine? jesus said: is in mine room i use it as a ventilator

 

its all those times jacking off into my gf's mouth, and i found a flaw in that joke worp, i dont think ramsey is going to heaven, and if he does, im pretty sure jesus isnt in any rush to meet him

[guit_ar_tist]

its all those times jacking off into my gf's mouth, and i found a flaw in that joke worp, i dont think ramsey is going to heaven, and if he does, im pretty sure jesus isnt in any rush to meet him

hahahahahaha       

[fury]

3 million years later me joke was understand 

now new joke


ok 3 guy Ramsy,Fury,Ban En All, died and go to haeven then the meet jesus,1of them ask what the clock for ? jesus said: thas is the nuber of time you mastuber your seld in 1 day.The first clock is Ramsy ..1,2,3,4,  Four time in one day,The secound is Fury...1,2,3,4,5,6,7 seven time in one day.Then Ban En All ask where is mine? jesus said: is in mine room i use it as a ventilator

 

 

"its all those times jacking off into my gf's mouth, and i found a flaw in that joke worp, i dont think ramsey is going to heaven, and if he does, im pretty sure jesus isnt in any rush to meet him" <---Hebrews dont believe in GOD..therefore, no heaven for ramsey

[Ban Em All]

3 million years later me joke was understand 

now new joke


ok 3 guy Ramsy,Fury,Ban En All, died and go to haeven then the meet jesus,1of them ask what the clock for ? jesus said: thas is the nuber of time you mastuber your seld in 1 day.The first clock is Ramsy ..1,2,3,4,  Four time in one day,The secound is Fury...1,2,3,4,5,6,7 seven time in one day.Then Ban En All ask where is mine? jesus said: is in mine room i use it as a ventilator

 

 

"its all those times jacking off into my gf's mouth, and i found a flaw in that joke worp, i dont think ramsey is going to heaven, and if he does, im pretty sure jesus isnt in any rush to meet him" <---Hebrews dont believe in GOD..therefore, no heaven for ramsey

uh, ok

[guit_ar_tist]

Hebrews dont believe in GOD..therefore, no heaven for ramsey

lol

[DinG]

wow.. now we know what ban does in his free time.. he's practically a toothpaste factory..

[guit_ar_tist]

wow.. now we know what ban does in his free time.. he's practically a toothpaste factory..

  

[Ban Em All]

wow.. now we know what ban does in his free time.. he's practically a toothpaste factory..

you want some?

[fury]

wow.. now we know what ban does in his free time.. he's practically a toothpaste factory..

you want some?

bottle that shit and sell it to a sperm bank..you get paid double if ur white..

[Ban Em All]

teehee, guess we can count out ding. in the medical records after ding's name, they have "?" 

[DinG]

my sperm is so strong it makes the womans pregnancy lasts only 4 months before the baby shoots its way out with an mp44... thats why they have the ? after my name..

[Ban Em All]

my sperm is so strong it makes the womans pregnancy lasts only 4 months before the baby shoots its way out with an mp44... thats why they have the ? after my name..

hahhahaaha, nice come back

[Dr. Del Fuego]

It was a hot day in Minnesota . Helga hung out the wash
to dry, put a roast in the oven, and then went
downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
"Gootness, it's hotter Dan hell today," she mused to
herself as she walked down Main Street .

She passed a tavern and thought , "Vy nodt?" She walked in and took a
seat at the bar.The bartender walked up and asked her what she would
like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is
zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer".

"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und
how's yur viener?"

[Dr. Del Fuego]

TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF EXAMINATION 

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach,   
you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer   
with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time   
doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.   

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is   
like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never   
scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses   
its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how   
you call a dog... "Killer, come here! Now think about how   
you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jezus,   
you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.   

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or   
any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A   
straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw   
oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything   
else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably   
a fag.   

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss   
in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship.   
A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates   
where he pleases.   

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you pro-   
bably like a high hard one in the pooper chuter. A straight   
man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If   
you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man   
there, too.   

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or   
four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie,   
you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man   
doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that   
crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a   
"fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of   
textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.   

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you   
are dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands   
on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the ass-   
hole off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change   
the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, scratch   
his balls, or play with his broad's tits. 

[guit_ar_tist]

Nice one fuego.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is  
like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never  
scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses  
its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how  
you call a dog... "Killer, come here! Now think about how  
you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jezus,  
you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.  

Damn, I am a homo then I guess and I have two cats