Joke Du Jour

[Dr. Del Fuego]

A bunch some good, some OK. 
Del..

I was talking to a friend of mine, and he told me that he's
been married a little over four years. He told me he was
celebrating   his 'Wooden' anniversary.
I asked what a 'wooden' anniversary was.
He said, "I asked her to give me a blow job and she wooden."

Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a
posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they in-
dulge in partner-swapping as a trial.
After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned
to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex
I had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"



A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day
discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes
the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the
Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced
mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the
Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he
thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians
who introduced it to women!"

"In my case," said the student to the sex researcher, "when
I get it part way in, my vision blurs.  And when it's all
the way in, I can't see a thing."
"Now, that's a most interesting optical reaction. It may
have physiological as well as psychological basis," the
researcher replied. "If you don't mind young man, I should
like to have a look at it."
So the student volunteer shrugged and stuck out his tongue.

[Ban Em All]

hahaa, you never disappoint me fuego. my favs were teh second and third ones in that one. lol, very nice

John invited his mother to dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between John & his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more going on between John and his roommate than what met the eye. Reading his mothers thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie went to John and said. "Ever since your mother came for dinner I have been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter."

Dear Mother,
I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take the ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing since you came to dinner.
John

Several days later John received a letter from his mother:

Dear John,
I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie, but the fact remains that is she were to sleep in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now
Love, MOM




im not sure, i thought his was decently funny. its one of those jokes where it gives you a chuckle. 

[[OnA]Sloppy]

what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes, nothing, she's been spoken to twice.


close the the thread.

[Ban Em All]

what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes, nothing, she's been spoken to twice.


close the the thread.

i dont get it?

[Glox]

Sloppy beats women D=

[[OnA]Sloppy]

what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes, nothing, she's been spoken to twice.


close the the thread.

i dont get it?

i said close the thread cause no joke can get as good as that one.

[Ban Em All]

what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes, nothing, she's been spoken to twice.


close the the thread.

i dont get it?

i said close the thread cause no joke can get as good as that one.

oh, i was reading it as black eyes as in the color, lol, i get it now

[DinG]

report sloppy to the sex crimes unit!

[Ban Em All]

report sloppy to the sex crimes unit!

ha

[RAMBO]

oh, i was reading it as black eyes as in the color, lol, i get it now

You read it the right way the first time. Idiot.

[Ban Em All]

oh, i was reading it as black eyes as in the color, lol, i get it now

You read it the right way the first time. Idiot.

screw the joke, im so confused now!

[Glox]

Sloppy beats women. What is there to be confused about?

[Ban Em All]

Sloppy beats women. What is there to be confused about?

not yorus, sloppies

[[OnA]Sloppy]

Sloppy beats women. What is there to be confused about?

not yorus, sloppies

that was the joke, what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes? nothing she's been spoken to twice. it means you use your fists to speak with women.

[Ban Em All]

Sloppy beats women. What is there to be confused about?

not yorus, sloppies

that was the joke, what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes? nothing she's been spoken to twice. it means you use your fists to speak with women.

oh, well i realize that now. it was the other people that were confusing me. lets just move on to a new joke. fuego, we need another one. while we wait for fuego's new one, heres one.

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?"

"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up,"and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat."

again, just another chuckle joke.


one more,

[MrBlack]

Post your most funniest jokes here. We all want a laugh in our lives 


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[Ban Em All]

we all ready have a topic like this.

[MrBlack]

Why is it good to have a 100$ bill tattooed on you PENIS?
1. You always have CASH in your hand
2. You can give it to your wife to use it
3. You get happy when you see it how it grows
4. It's a sure way to pay a hooker
5. And when somebody asks you for some money, you kindly say: here's my DICK!

Enjoy