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A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags and every once in a while a $20 bill comes flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Damn!" says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if I can gather up some of them. Thanks!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "Where did you get that money? Did you steal it?" "Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes right into my flower beds! So, I stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper and each time some guy sticks his dick through the bushes, I say; '$20 or off it comes!'" "Hey not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "Ok, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up."
Here's 2 for the weekend!!The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids to help them out a bit. The team's performance soars. They win the county and state championships and are favored to win the national competition easily. Penelope, a sixteen year old hurdler visits her coach and says, "Coach, I have a problem. I'm starting to grow hair where I never had it before." "What?" the coach says in a panic, "Where are you growing hair?" She replies, "On my balls." __________________________________________________________________Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers. The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turned to the other Brother and says "then you must be....?" "Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."
A woman and her daughter go to the store to get the daughter a Barbie. At the store, the daughter asks the lady working at the store if Barbie comes with Ken.She replies, "Oh no, Barbie only cums with GI Joe, she just fakes it with Ken."
joke post men will comVIVRE LE QUEBEC LIBRE TABARNAKE
lol, thats what i thought.here is my jokeThe blonde reported for her university final examination that consists ofyes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, staresat the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration,takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, markingthe answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class isstill sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperatelythrowing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half anhour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
im sorry for a double post, buy my friend just sent me this one right after i posted my last oneA man and a woman who never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial embarrassment and uneasiness, they both went to sleep -- the man in the upper berth, and the woman in the lower one.In the middle of the night, the woman leans over, gently wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold, and I was wondering if you could possibly reach over and give me another blanket?"The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I have a better idea. Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."The woman happily says, "Okay, that sounds great."So the man says, "Good. Get your own f***ing blanket."heres another oneWantedAn actual ad in the London Times.WANTEDA tall well-built woman with goodreputation, who can cook frogslegs, who appreciates a good fuc-schia garden, classic music and tal-king without getting too serious.But please only read lines 1,3 and 5
2 guy decid to push a building ,so their put their jackets on the ground and start pusching the building,a bit later a thief pass and stole the jackets, then few hours later,one guy said: we have push the building ! the oute guy ask: how do you no? our jacket are not there ! gramma are bad so try to do it the best
the 2 guy thinck the have push the bulding beacau thei cannot see their jackets sorry french joke i try to translate it
i think i get it, when they push a buildiing, they covered their jackets, right?btw, i heard of double posts, but triple posts, only guitartist can push the limits
ahhh french jokes... all french no joke.. lol
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Topic: Joke Du Jour (Read 32007 times)